enough

 a few weeks ago, i took a picture of my kitchen table. amongst many other things resting on it, there was a chainsaw, reusable water balloons and their five-gallon bucket, baskets of random homeschool supplies, and a number of duplo creations. i was in the middle of reorganizing my homeschool supplies and curriculum...as well as working on about five other projects. 

when i looked at the picture, i thought, "this is what the inside of my brain must look like."

balancing so many projects around the house and learning new skills i never thought i would need, trying to figure out how to best care for aging parents, aching to be there for my brother and sister-in-law as they battle his stage IV cancer, looking at school starting in two weeks and not even fully having all my curriculum picked out, let along ordered...and so many other details that threaten to drown me. and i wonder, how do people do this?

and the answer i keep coming back to is simply this: Jesus. my head and heart have been noisy places and i long for the peace that can only be found in Him. so why must i keep reaching back out and holding on to all these things that weigh me down? depression is my constant companion and screams at me that i'm not enough, that i can't do it all, that i'm not worth the time. but Jesus, His quiet voice tells me that He is enough. 

i'm thankful He walked in our shoes and can sympathize with our weakness. i'm thankful He holds us together. i'm thankful He holds me together.