love

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 8:38-39

this idea keeps popping up in my life this week. in sharing with some visitors, reading it with my kids tonight, and through song lyrics of an old favorite. these might be some of the most comforting words in the Bible to someone like me who has tested the depths of His love. 

many years ago, i went to hear brennan manning speak, and i vividly remember him proclaiming, "God not only loves me, but he genuinely likes me!" it's a lie that i too often fall prey to, but when i read this passage in romans, how can i not believe it. His love hems me in. and you, too.

you may lose your appetite / your guiding sense of wrong and right / you may lose your will to fight / but you cannot lose My love

-sara groves, "you cannot lose my love"

noisy

 my world is much noisier than it was 12 years ago when i last put anything here. i have tried since then to fill this empty canvas, but nothing seemed right. but why now? i don't really know. i'm pretty sure no one even checks this anymore, so maybe it's because it is a quiet space. maybe it's because there are things inside this butterfly jar waiting to be released. maybe i simply miss my old friend, writing. 

this past year has been... a challenge. there have been times when i literally thought my heart was going to burst open. there have been times when i nearly went bald pulling my hair out. i have seen depths of selfishness in my heart that i didn't realize were still there, i have seen anger that blindsided me that i'm still trying to figure out, and i've felt an old numbness come back and haunt me. 

i feel a bit bruised up. but the one thing i know through it all - God is still good. and He is still holding me together... even when it doesn't feel like it. 

I want to live, I want to love
But I'm afraid my simple faith will never be enough
I want to laugh, I want to be set free
And let you hold all that my soul has deep inside of me
But I don't know where to start
It's on the tip of my heart

-tip of my heart, bebo norman