I watched her from afar…
Frustrated tears streaking down her cheeks.
A visible pain in her heart.
A look of vulnerability in her eyes, which betrays the distance she keeps.
Stuck in a lonely prison that seems so dark.
Wondering if she will ever feel the cool breeze of joy on her face again.

When did your course lead to the downward spiral you are on?
When did the walls go up that you fight so hard to keep?
(Even though it’s clear you want them brought down.)
Where has your hope gone?
Has it left you all alone?
Abandoned you in this storm?

Chin up, sad girl.
Hope is just around the corner.
Smile, lonely girl.
Love is here.
Feel free, child.
Cry your heart out into His chest.
He is strong enough.
His arms will hold you tight.
His words will ease your pain.
And His grace will be sufficient for you.
In all your days.

Saturday

It's Saturday...no getting up before the sun...no managing of many children...or even being in the school. It is a quiet day of homwork and Panera (thanks to the internet being down at school). By God's grace alone, I made it through the week...every moment asking not that it be easy but that He would simply meet me there. And He did.

As I went through the week, I found myself often homesick for Senegal. The place where I knew how things worked, I knew everyone there, I felt loved, and I knew what to expect (to some extent). So last night, when I finally allowed myself some downtime, I was reading through some things I had written in the past few years...just thought I'd share a few of these with you... obviously, these are from when I was leaving....

"As I have been back in this place (Senegal), I have been living in these moments of saying goodbye…I have breathed in Africa like a sweet fragrance that I will not forget….etched forever in my mind…its rhythms beating in my heart. All in slow motion, yet my time is now gone. Memories are my gift…ever with me…ever playing themselves in my mind."

"You have echoed with my laughter,
You have nearly drown in my tears,
You have been a fire for this shapeless piece of metal.

I am leaving you soon,
You who I have come to love,
You who found a place in my heart."