breathing

i know i've said it, but i love being home.

yesterday, i was siting with two of my longest time friends and as i sat there grinning at what has changed in our lives - and then the things that will probably never change about us, a feeling came over me that i forgot existed. being with them felt comfortable. since the ninth grade, our lives have been woven together, at times more tightly than others, but always together. these friends had a huge influence in shaping who i am today. they know my "dirt" and i know theirs.

tonight i had dinner with two other friends who have had a big impact on my life. and again, that feeling of being comfortable just washed over me and nearly toppled me right over. words wouldn't come to my mind as i just sat and listened and took in the sight of my friends, frantically trying to etch them into my mind in case i don't get back this way for some time.

i got out of my car to go in the house when i returned from dinner this evening and looked up and stopped. dead in my tracks. i haven't seen this clear of a night for some time. so i hopped in my car and took off for a deserted gravel road west of town about 10 miles. tonight is the closest i have seen to the night in uganda when i realized i hadn't a clue about how many stars were really in the sky.

this week i have felt it - i'm breathing. for what feels like the first time in months.