"I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful."
-Life of Pi by Yann Martel
That pretty much sums it up.
5.27.2009
5.20.2009
Changing
About seven months ago, I met a fellow Iowan on my train ride from the airport to my new home in PA. He warned me that staying here for too long would change me, and he didn't want to see that happen to me as it had to him. He had become hardened and life became hectic in the way it does in this region.
His warning has rattled around in my head for the last seven months. Everywhere I have lived has had its impact - making up this mosaic of me. And in the past few weeks, I've had a nagging feeling that a change is taking place. My pace of life has raced from tortoise to hare speed and my level of stress has gone from ocean bottom to the surface of the moon. And as I frantically run along in hopes of keeping up, I mourn the loss of being able to stop and breath without feeling guilty.
I don't share this to complain or fish for sympathy. Each chapter of life is different from the last. I just fear that I have forgotten how to slow down and be in awe of what is around me. And that scares me more than just about anything else.
His warning has rattled around in my head for the last seven months. Everywhere I have lived has had its impact - making up this mosaic of me. And in the past few weeks, I've had a nagging feeling that a change is taking place. My pace of life has raced from tortoise to hare speed and my level of stress has gone from ocean bottom to the surface of the moon. And as I frantically run along in hopes of keeping up, I mourn the loss of being able to stop and breath without feeling guilty.
I don't share this to complain or fish for sympathy. Each chapter of life is different from the last. I just fear that I have forgotten how to slow down and be in awe of what is around me. And that scares me more than just about anything else.
5.12.2009
5.11.2009
A Welcome Friend
I woke up this morning, not to sounds of traffic and high heel shoes on concrete, but to birds singing and other little creatures forewarning me of a coming rainstorm. I looked out my window and didn't see other apartment buildings with a tree here and there, but instead I saw the Smoky Mountains in the distance and countless trees swaying in the gentle breeze. And now I sit in the kitchen of my good friends wondering to myself, why would I not just stay here?
It's not about escaping where I live and all the pressure and frustrations of that place. It's about feeling a peacefulness here that I have never felt where I now live. And certainly there are beauties to be seen there, but its places like this that act as a salve to my soul and beckon me to stay. This is how I am designed.
And even though this is just a momentary escape from the chaotic pace of my new life, it is a welcome friend.
It's not about escaping where I live and all the pressure and frustrations of that place. It's about feeling a peacefulness here that I have never felt where I now live. And certainly there are beauties to be seen there, but its places like this that act as a salve to my soul and beckon me to stay. This is how I am designed.
And even though this is just a momentary escape from the chaotic pace of my new life, it is a welcome friend.
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