birthday

 here i sit on my 46th birthday, sneaking a bit of my chocolate cake and watching spiderman...thinking that there are things i should be reflecting on this evening while the house is quiet. a sweet friend of mine gave me three questions many years ago to ponder when this day comes around each year. so here goes.

three things i'm thankful for from this past year.

    1) we didn't take any vacations this year because my husband used up most of his time off going to PA to be with his brother through his chemo treatments. that left me with lots of time with my kids, which i treasure. we didn't necessarily get out and do more things, but just had time together. and we had some extra time with our extended family, which is always time we are thankful for.

    2) i'm thankful for our growth group and our ELL class on monday nights. i haven't made a lot of close friends here yet and being in a small growth group is giving me an opportunity to get to know some others on a deeper level - which is where i prefer to be. i'm thankful for these people who pray for us and who we pray for. i'm also thankful for the ELL classes - monday nights are just my favorite night of the week. i may have had the worst of days going in, but i always come out joyful. that is a gift. 

    3) i'm thankful that God doesn't give up on me. i haven't been in the best of places mentally or spiritually this year, but in the deepest and darkest of moments, i've felt God holding me together - as He holds all things together.

three things i hope to see happen this year

    1) i hope to see all of my kids love Jesus with their whole hearts and seeking to follow after Him.

    2) i hope to see all our debt (except the house) paid off and nothing new taken on!

    3) if i'm being completely open and honest, i hope to see myself get back to a healthy place - spiritually, mentally, and physically. 

three things i learned

    1) i learned that it is ok to say, "i just need a break" when life gets to be too much. this past year we pulled out of many things because life got to be a bit too much. and the world didn't end when we did - it kept going. and it gave us the time we needed to breathe and heal a bit.

    2) i learned that i still need God's help to love people that are hard (for me) to love - especially when they live in my house. and if i'm not prayed up and saturated with the Word, i really mess things up.

    3) i feel like i've been learning this lesson for the last 20 years - continually. but i'm still learning that God has it. whatever "it" may be, God has it. He hears the cries of my heart and He is in control and He is good - even if it is hard.